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I have been suffering with a problem for nearly three years: I sigh - or yawn, or both - all day everyday. It may not sound like much, but believe me it is. 2008 & 2009 were the two worst consecutive years of my life. They drifted by like a grey daydream, and I had no idea of why or how to solve it. I was just… well it’s hard to explain. Sad is the emotion, but it’s not right. Unresponsive is probably better. It’s like my heart went slowly to sleep, and I descended into a prolonged emotional torpor from which there was no escape.

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Every drop needs squeezing from 140 chars. Let me show you how that’s done. Here are four tweets - all of which can be improved - from four Twitterers I follow: Jeremy Keith, Aegir Hallmundur, Simon Warrick & Jenny Rolfe. These four were in a block and I chose them at random to show that any tweet can be improved:

1. JK: Estimating the geek to civilian ratio in this pub to be about 2:1 right now.
2. AH: Ooo, much criticism of the BBC in #thebubble. They’re only getting one series then…
3. SW: Since when did celebrity gossip and apologies for their behaviour become the most important news item on the BBC? Tiger Woods is not news!
4. JR: hmmm. just super glued a paint brush to my tights. think that means it’s time to stop making stuff today.

Let’s start with Jeremy’s:

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1. Tweet something amusing, or honest, or amusingly honest, for the undiluted Hell of it;
2. See 1.

Nettle roots go deep. Really deep. You never know how deep. They’re also rhizomic, which means they sprout long, tough underground stems - rhizomes - that seed new plants, and is the reason that they’re often found in clumps.

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